Sometimes

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm really dead inside. it seems that I lack the ability to sympathise with people with relationships problems. maybe it is because i have been through it so many times that I feel that there's nothing bad about having a broken heart.

Having broken heart doesn't mean the end of the world. Love isn't everything.

 

Its not because I'm jaded. its really because I know exactly what I want and how I want to be treated and I refuse to accept that he/she is not treating me right. Everybody who is a good person who deserves to be loved. If I am not happy in a relationship, I will leave. It's not the duration of the relationship that matters, its the quality of the time spent together. Why stay unhappy in a 5 years relationship that you are unhappy 80% of the time? This means out of the 365 days that you are together, 1460 days are spent being unhappy?

 

Why not choose to be single BUT happy? It's better to be alone than badly accompanied.

 

Being single/alone isn't all that bad. Sure, there are times like Christmas or New Year that you may need to get use to spending them alone. But at least I can do things that I know for 100% that will make me happy, no matter how ridiculous it is. Things like clubbing and dirty dancing till 3am, sleeping for 14 hours straight, eating in bed and leaving crumbs all over, not folding my clothes and leaving them all over the floor/bed/sofa/any available space. Plus, I don't have to be responsible for another person's feelings, or fear of stepping on invisible land mines all the time. It really irks me.

 

Please don't get me wrong. I am not against ALL relationships, I'm just against unhealthy relationships in which both parties are tearing each other into bits and pieces. I have been there before,  the neurotic / paranoid / melodramatic / needy and psychotic girlfriend. Trust me, I am in no hurry to change back into that person. I hated myself when I was like that. But I have to admit that sometimes we girls cannot really control our emotions / thoughts that well. I guess being in love really clouds our brains.

 

Why do girls, no matter how well educated / pretty / nice, always turn into monsters when they are in love?

 

This brings me to another issue. This is why I am still undecided about being a lesbian, or rather a bisexual. I have seen what girls are capable of doing when they are deluded in love and frankly, I am scared. We are definitely a highly evolved breed, which when in love, develop amazing skills! One very good example is the art of computer hacking for passwords into his into emails/Friendster/Facebook/MSN accounts despite being a COMPLETE IT IDIOT who having problems understanding simple IT terms?

 

I can understand why many eligible bachelors choose to be single. Females are scary creatures and even though I am also a girl, I have no idea how to handle us.

 

Anyway, back to the part about being in relationships, I REFUSE to be with someone just because the society deems that everyone should be a part of a couple. This is what normal people should do.. NOT WHAT THEY WANT.. but SHOULD. They should stop saying things like "You complete me" or 'we are together as ONE'.

 

I am a complete individual, with or without you.

 

If everyone is a half and we all have to find someone to complete us, isn't it very risky? What will happen if we don't find someone? Are we lesser than a whole person and do not deserve to go to heaven, doomed and cursed to roam the face of the Earth until society changes?

 

Maybe it is time we all re-think about this. WE MUST STOP THIS MADNESS.