Why love when Love hurts? Why love when Love ends?

Hey.. Its been a long time since I last blogged. Guess I was kinda caught up in the real life.. Hasn't been feeling that great lately but I cant really pin point what I'm unhappy about. But I know this feeling will pass very soon. I hope it will cause I don't like feeling empty all the time.

Work, quite ironically, has been good. Achieving more than 100% of my quater targets. Earning so much more than peers my own age. This seems to be the only plus side of my life right now.

But is that all there is to a person?

I hate it when people have too much expectations of me. Sometimes, its so tiring and I just want to scream "Back off! Enough is enough!" Targets, numbers, sales.. They really don't mean that much to me. Well, at least now they don't. I feel that I don't want to be judged by the amount of sales I bring in, more sales = better person... I'm human. That's not all to a human being! What a sick world I live in?! ~

Breathe.

Just remember to breathe.

Love life, at this very moment, sux big time. Ended up being the 3rd party for the millionth time AGAIN! Seriously, I don't really even like him cause he's so NOT my type. I believe my feelings for him is actually a reflection of how I think he wants me to feel for him. Its not real. But anyway, it doesn't matter cause its not happening.

Seriously, sometimes I think that I subconsiously seek out married/attached men because I want to be in a commitment-free relationship. You see, men who are attached/married cannot ask me to be their gfs so I can come and go as I want and I don't have to be responsible for their feelings. Some gals may think that the guy would actually leave their gf/wife for them. But I'm living prove that they don't. Most of them don't want to leave their other half because they are so comfortable with them and they don't want to be the bad guy who fools around and ditches their gfs.

In the end, you'll end up with nothing. Lose-Lose situation. So why bother starting something that you know will end?

Why love when Love hurts? Why love when Love ends?

Anyway, the whole relationship/love/emotional stuff is getting to me so I'm just going to say "Fuck It". Literally. I'm not going to waste my time/effort. Its so not worth it anymore.

Nothing is really worth it.

I just want to lie here and let my sins eat me alive.

Am i all alone in this universe?
There's no love on these streets.
I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.