1) Screening my calls/sms/msn
2) Turning down invites to hang out with friends
3) Put myself in an "Offline" mode, which means I, literally, STOP THINKING
4) Filling my plastic Coke Cup with exactly 32oz of water and drinking it while watching brainless TV shows
5) Surfing frens' blogs
6) Playing my fave bad cheesy music so loudly that my neighbours bang on my door and threaten to kill themselves/move to another planet/chew their heads off
Yes. Sundays are the days when I'm the least productive human on Earth. I should be recycled to make paper mache decorations.
Anyway, enough of my crap.
Lately, my good fren Em was introduced to a guy. He's a scholar from Harvard and working with the Govt. I guess he likes her but they were sort of like holding back because they both didn't want to appear too desperate. So, each time Em msg him, she has to try to appear as nonchalent as possible.
The Games People Play..
I don't understand. Why is it so difficult to tell someone "I like you"? Why cant we be honest and less pretentious? Its it because we all fear being rejected? Ok. I'm just saying it. I personally have no right to comment because I suck at this too. Like how I cannot function like a normal person in front of the person I like, how I get so tongue-tight and nervous that the simplest "Hi" comes out more like "Hhhh..hhh...hhii". After which, I immediately break into a million pieces, burst into flames and die.
I'm a freak.
Sometimes, I wish I have more guts to go up to him and say "Hey, wanna go out for drinks/movie?". Maybe its because I don't believe that I'm good enough. Whatever it is, if i really do end up alone, I'll most prob buy a nice apartment with a good sea view.
I have no love. I need to make myself happy.
Speaking for making myself happy, yesterday, while shopping with Em and CQ, I bought a vintage metal butterfly necklace which (according to the lady in the store) dates back to the Qing era (1644 to 1910). People who knows me know that I personally cannot stand the pictures of butterflies. Be it a tattoo design or just pictures, I don't like them. Strangely, I like the necklace so much that I actually spent close to $100 on it.
I have no love. I need to make myself happy.
Its just one of those things that I know I must have it. If not, I'll keep thinking about it and eventually go back to get it the next day. I like to think about the person who used to own it. Maybe she's a young girl who wore it as a hairpin during that period of time. She eventually dies, leaving behind this hairpin for her lover who never returns from war. Years later, someone found this hairpin among her belongings and sold it to a jewellery store. The owner, in turns, made the hairpin into a pendant for a necklace and sold it to Singapore.
I love stories. I love things with stories behind them. I love making up stories.
Ok. I think too much. I'm a freak who lives in my own queer world. Maybe this is why I always attract the wrong guys. Guys with too much history/baggage. Then again, this describes all the men I know.. so maybe this is God's way of telling me to that I should date outside this Solar system. Maybe Martians?
Mum bought me flowers for my room today. I love fresh flowers. I'm going to put on my fave CDs and read my book.
I love Sundays.
Am i all alone in this universe?
There's no love on these streets.
I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.
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