Belle of Balls

I love the use the term "balls" quite loosely in my speech. In fact, it is one of my fave expressions that I use on a daily basis, along side with "Fuck", "Damm", "TMD", "TNND" etc.

It is so versatile!

For example, if someone challenges me to commit a daredevil act, I would say, "I don't have the balls for it." In some situations if the daredevil act is close to life-threatening, I would say, "I don't have the FUCKING BALLS for it."

There are also some other situations which require the use of the word "Balls" quite frequently. For instance, there are times when one has no choice but to lower himself/herself to do what one has to do.

The Balls-Carrying.

Usually, the person who carries his/her bosses balls are known as the "Balls-carrying bitch/bastard." Of course, we are not allowed to call them that straight in the face because it would be politically incorrect to do so. Hence, we stick to the good old fashion of gossiping behind their backs becase we pretty much know who they are in the office and know what they WILL DO to carry their bosses' balls.

Also, the extend of Balls-carrying may vary due to the different situations. When the situation is highly critical and threatens to endanger one's life/job/future/promotion, one may choose to do the UNMENTIONABLE.

The ULTIMATE Balls-sucking.

This activity, as compared to Balls-carrying, is a complex, highly dangerous activity and it requires long hours of practices and preparation. In order to master the Art of Balls-sucking, one must forget that one is a Human Being and lose all pride and any form of human decency. He/she must make their bosses feel as though they are the rulers of the Universe and being unreasonable is their God-given right. Yes, they'll most likely think that they have the right to demand for you to give them EVERYTHING, including your time, your social life and even your first born child!

I must say that it'll take years of training before one perfects the skills of Balls-sucking.

There are some other cases whereby the term "Balls" may to used to express one's anger. Times when one may feel soo pissed off and say things like "Damm, I feel like squeezing my balls". They are what I usually call a "Squeeze-Balls Situations" or aka S.B.S. And they are as follows:

1) Your ex gf/bf buys a new house/car and gets a new gf/bf, who in turn get to enjoy it ALL. The irritating part, the new gf/bf is BUTT-UGLY and don't deserve it at all. (but your ex definatelly deserves him/her because she/he is BUTT-UGLY. Cheers to that!)

2) The cute guy at work is not gay. (Hurray to that!) But he's not available either because he's going overseas to study/interested in someone else/cannot commit. Damm, I feel like squeezing my balls!

3) You see a car in an accident and you take down the number. You buy the 4D using the 4 digits. It comes out as the first prize. Then you realise, you lose the ticket/bought for wrong date/you only found out one year later that you won.

Above are just some of the "Squeeze-Balls Situations" that one may encounter during his/her life. However, we should all bear in mind that no matter how hard we would like to squeeze our balls, we should also look at the brighter side of life.

At least we still have balls.

Hurray to Balls!

Disclaimer:
This post was written when the blogger was in an unstable state of mind. Any resemblance or similarities to any person dead/alive is nothing but your own fuzzy imagination.

Am i all alone in this universe?
There's no love on these streets.
I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.