Sometimes, i wonder where is all this going. My mind is filled with questions that one would usually think of. Is he my boyfriend? Is he my fling/lover? Or is he my ex-bf whom i'm seeing casually over the weekend?
After much thoughts, i realised that i didn't want to define our relationship. For once, i actually felt safe in the grey area. No black. No white. It's comforting not having to label a relationship. The reason being partly because once we labelled the relationship, we'll have to address alot of other issues. Like are we allowed to date other people.. Are we supposed to remain faithful to each other? And all of this boils down to one little questions...
Are we in love?
I think my relationship with Kongkong has progressed to a stage beyond what words can define. We enjoy each other's company. I read while he studies. We watch soccer together. We do groceries together. He holds my hand while driving. Plays with my hair while we watch tv. I love the way he holds my waist while walking me to his car. The way he lets me lie on his chest while we sleep. Not to mention, he has a nice car, a big house with swimming pool and also very generous. And he's very fit too.
What not to like about him?
*tIng shrugs.*
Yet, deep down inside, i don't think we are in love. Well, at least i don't think i am. For the simplest fact that i don't care if he's seeing someone else. We really have nothing in common. He's critical of everything i do. Sometimes, he just nags too much. He always thinks he's right (which, unfortunately most of the time, he is).
Despite all these, we are still seeing each other every weekend. Maybe it is just we are both lonely and need company? Maybe we are enjoying the fact that there's no pressure in our relationship and we can pull out without any strings attached? By not defining a relationship, we have made things simpler. No hard and fast rules on commitment. We can pull out without hurting the other party because he/she wasn't expected to stay anyway.
Have i become so jaded that i no longer care about who holds my hand?
Anyway, been talking to Don.aka.aussie alot lately. He aint as bad as i thought he was. Especially after i got him to see me as a HUMAN and not as some sex toy. We are always arguing. Yesterday, i nearly screamed at him for making racist remarks about Singaporeans. I said he was a stupid ang moh and he retorted, saying that he's not ang moh but he's ABC.
Seriously, i don't see the difference.
But who cares. He's flying away for a business trip tomorrow. Then again, who cares about the stupid aussie?!
Am i all alone in this universe?
There's no love on these streets.
I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.
There's no love on these streets.
I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.
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