Love : A battlefield or just some Chemicals in my Brain?

Its 8.14pm on a Thursday night. Has been a pretty rough week for me.. Lots of problems at work and at home.. My eyebrow kept twitching today and i knew for sure it was a bad sign. True enough, my grandma was admitted to the hospital again.

As if matters cant get any worse, my candidates either rejected the job offer or refused to pick up the calls.

*tIng feels like banging her balls but realises that she doesn't have any.*

I'm just going to blog about the random thoughts that have been swimming in my head. If i don't make sense to you, don't worry. You are perfectly normal.

Thought #1
Everytime i pass the BIGGGGGGGGGGGGG Christmas tree at Taka foyer, i wonder what will happen if the little light bulbs just fuse. Imagine the whole fucking tree burning in bright orange flames! I'll like to see that! I'm sure it'll be a fantastic view!

I hope i don't sound disturbed to you cause i'm really not. Sometime, maybe i'm abit crazy but i assure you i'm quite normal most of the time.

Thought #2
I was listening to my Savage Garden CD this morning when the following phrase caught my attention.

Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain

And feelings of aggressions are the absence of the love drug in your veins

I believe my emotions are nothing but chemical reactions in my brains. That's why i choose to block out any form/signs of possible love interests. Maybe this explains my feelings of aggressions? Anyway, i choose to block them out for very selfish reasons. I don't want to go through emotional drama.aka.Hell again. Also, since A is close to 30 years old, i don't want to complicate things. Yes, i have a new target and its A.

But i know for sure I don't quite like A. May be its more of a conquest to me than a love interest. Since i've always find older men fascinating, maybe that's why i'm attracted to A. I think the following paragraph describes my feelings quite accurately.

"The real reason Oswald had refused to get married was simply that he had never in his life been able to confine his attention to one particular woman for longer than the time it took to conquer her. When that was done, he lost interest and looked around for another victim."

-Switch Bitch, Roald Dahl

Maybe its because he's unattainable which keeps me interested in him. Maybe its because he drives a convertible. Maybe its because he's not my type. Maybe its because my sole aim is to win him over. Maybe its because i'm bored with no toys to play with.

Right now, i'm losing interest in him already. Should i or should i not continue? I have a feeling even if i did win the conquest, i'll still lose the battle. *shrugs*

Shall not think about it now.. I'll meet the boys for dinner and i'll think about it later.

Am i all alone in this universe?
There's no love on these streets.
I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.