A Series of Unfortunate Events

Monday morning.. Was walking to the bus stop, took out my discmna, only to realise that there's something wrong the earphones.

*tIng took out a sethoscope and examined her earphones carefully. She banged it on the table repeatedly*

What? This cant be happening to me. Damm.. It was 7.30 am in the morning. This should not be happening. I'm a firm believer in signs. And i had a sick feeling that something was going to be wrong today!

Got to work barely on time.. Work work work.. Busy Busy Busy.. By lunchtime, i had completely lost my appetite. *frowns* I cant be losing my appetite. The whole world knows i'll die without food! And i cant even finished my noodles today!

Got back to the office and started to process my claims. This should be a fairly simple task right? Just stick the receipts on paper and process it. Nothing should go wrong right? Nope. I'm an living example of Murphy's Law.

I managed to screw up the simplest of all task.

I accidentedly photocopied some my receipts and as a result, ALL of them turned black because they were made of carbon paper and carbon paper turns black when heated!

*tIng slams her head against the table.*

I KNEW IT! I knew something bad was going to happen and it did! How the hell was i supposed to know that you are not supposed to photocopy carbon paper?! *slaps forehead* Just when I thought things can get any worse, a colleague of mine did the same thing to the remining of my receipts just to test it again before i could stop her!

*tIng takes out a knife and stabs herself.*

WHY? Why of all people this has to happen to ME? I must be cursed! How do i know this? Here are some incidents on why i think so:

Incident #1
Last week, while crossing the traffic junction between Ngee Ann City and Mandrin Hotel, a taxi nearly knocked me down! It was green light but he just DID NOT SEE ME!

Incident #2
On the same day, while walking along Orchard road to Somerset MRT station, a tiny little fruit fell from the tree and hit me right on the head. See?! Of all the people walking along the street and of all the trees with fruits, that tiny little thingy had to drop on my head!

Incident #3
Last Saturday, while standing at the side of the road talking to Sally at East Coast Park, a little gal knocked into me with her bicycle. SEE?????? There were like millions of people there but that gal had to knocked into ME!

Do you not see it? I must be cursed! There must be something i could do about it. *considers seriously*

*tIng takes out a yellow tailsman from her pocket. She holds in in her left hand and lights it up. She puts the burning tailsman into a glass of water. Holding the glass in her right hand, she pours it over her head.*

This should help, right?! But i should better be safe than sorry.

*tIng takes out a rabbit foot and clutches it in her hand for a while. Suddenly, she remembers that she's against animal abuse. tIng frowns. She drops the rabbit foot on the floor and it disappears into thin air.*

Does anyone has any way to get rid of bad luck that does NOT involve combustion of coloured paper and animal carcass?

*tIng faints in exasperation.*

There has got to be an easier way!

Am i all alone in this universe?
There's no love on these streets.
I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.