I'm Sorry.

Just reached home atfer a "chat" with D. As usual, all the guys who meet me wanted to get something from me. This is the 3rd time this month. What the hell? Do i give people the wrong impression? I told him i did not like what he was trying to do! AGAIN! How many times do i have to go through this shit? Poor D. I basically straightened things out with him, telling him that he's mistaken and i'm not that kind of gal. And i forced him to give me an answer why most men are like that and do i give people the wrong impression! After we clarified things, he said he'll still contact and we can stay as friends.

*tIng raises her eyebrow.*

Do you think i'll believe that? Guys are nothing but animals. Do you think they'll contat a gal whom they know they will not get lucky with with?

I'm so sorry that i'm so unfeeling and cold towards men. I'm so sorry that i no longer feel anything in my heart to even want to try with a new guy.

They are not worth it.

I was thinking about me today. I must stop lying to myself about Kevin. I have to admit it now. I've stopped loving him during the time when he went sailing for 10 days. K was back and i did not tell him i had a bf. My heart swayed even though i did not meet up with K. I never liked the Milo Kevin made for me. Never did. It was too bland for my taste. I never liked any of his shirts. I felt really guilty when he gave me the letters he wrote to me while he was at sea. But i did not bring it up.

When he wanted to break with me, i asked him to stay. Not because i really loved him. I just did not want to lose and i did not want to be alone. I'm selfish. I don't like the feeling of losing. It was not real. Even after breaking up, i was obsessed with him. Not because i still loved him. Just for the simple reason of not wanting him to be happy. Again, i do not want to lose.

I'm sorry, Kevin.

I have to stop lying to myself.

I stopped loving you since you left for sea that day.

You've forgotten.

I'm a player too.

Am i all alone in this universe?
There's no love on these streets.
I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.